The Bugle | Blast 366


Friday 21st December 2018
Drone & Alien Edition



 

QUOTE  OF THE WEEK


"Whenever I see anyone cycling faster than me - I assume they are not going as far" - Anon

 

CROWNED REINDEER OF THE WEEK

John E comes to earth in Lingfield. Pity the nearby Gatwick authorities who may have mistook his sledge for a drone.

Made for a quieter ride around Lingfield on Thursday.

 

CHRISTMAS BICYCLE OF THE WEEK

Tim S had tinsel-towned his bike but I'm afraid this is more the standard we expect next year

 

CHRISTMAS STOCKING FILLER #5

A clip-on LED lamp for spotting aliens ahead and eyeing the road behind you. This is only obtainable directly as everywhere else appears to be out of stock. I wonder why?
https://yaoota.com/en-ke/product/universal-mini-alien-bicycle-bike-cycling-silicone-head-fron-price-from-jumia-kenya



NEOLOGISM COMPETITION
No entries to match Tom V's challenge last week. So no prize yet. Here are a few [non-cycling] neologisms taken from Radio 4's "Sorry I haven't a clue" programme to get you in the mood over Christmas. Put those thinking helmets on:

Abacus - Swedish swear word
Bustard - very rude ominbus driver
Caberet - wide range of taxis for hire
Chairs - toast by the Queen
Childhood - young gangster
Dandelion - camp Big Cat
Delight - make things go darker
Descant - white collar ant
Doughnut - eccentric millionaire
Equip - joke online
Extemporary - permanent
Fondue - affectionate sheep
Granary - old folks' home
Hirsute - ladies clothing
Inhabit - dressed as a monk
Intense - camping
Investment - thermal underwear for bankers
Ketchup - posh word for drawing level
Khaki - device for starting car
Laminated - pregnant sheep
Loofah - outdoor loo
Marinade - soft drink for wedding
Microbe - tiny dressing gown
Minimal - small shopping centre
Mucus - feline swear word
Mutate - feline art gallery
Negligent - Male lingerie
Neighbourhood - gangster next door
Notable - full restaurant
Overrate - nine
Paradox - two medics
Parasites - view from Eiffel Tower
Plantiff - argument with stewardess
Posterity - inherited bottom size
Property - decent cuppa
Quadrant - four people shouting
Ramshackle - male chastity belf
Scandal - footwear to be ashamed of
Xenophobia - fear of Buddhists


 

RIDE REPORTS


Saturday 15th December: Cancelled due to weather

Sunday 16th December: No report

Tuesday 18th December: Dark forces at work at Redhill Aerodrome then Chief Elf TomTom fell victim to Frank and lost 26 assorted elves, Santas and Bah Humbugs climbing the ridge at Bletchingley. T'other Tom electrified the remainers into Priory Farm for a cuppa: https://anerleybc.org/tuesday-ride-18th-december-2018/

Thursday 20th December: Shining aliens invade our Christmas Lunch in Lingfield: https://anerleybc.org/thursday-ride-20th-december-2018/


 

UPCOMING RIDES


Saturday 22nd December:  Meet Shurguard/501 Brighton Road at 09.00:  Pete leads Off Road again, hybrid friendly, all welcome just no skinny slicks please. Out via Old Lodge Lane, Coulsdon Common and up Happy Valley (the scenic route) to Farthing Downs car park. Then across fields by Chaldon Church, down Shepherd's hill and via bridle paths to Godstone and tea stop at Flower farm. Back via Marden Park, the Zig Zag and  Kenley Airfield to pub stop at The Wattenden Arms. 
Approx 22 miles

Sunday 23rd December: Meet Shurguard/501 Brighton Road at 09:30: Mark H leads to Chartwell lunch 12am, Pub stop optional back in Purley 15.00pm.

Tuesday 25th December: No ride in case you miss Father Christmas

Thursday 27th December: Meet Shurguard at 10:00 am.
Barry is heading into Surrey.
 



DATES FOR YOUR RACING DIARY


The Anerley is a member of the Southern Counties Cycling Union (SCCU). Next year they have added more cups and trophies for ladies. A chance for our gals to clean up alongside our regular blokes. These are the dates of events:
  • Sat 17th March Sporting 10
  • Sun 18th March Sporting 25
  • Sun 25th March SCCU Sporting 21
  • Sun 15th April SCCU 25 Mile
  • Sat 19th May SCCU 10 Mile
  • Sun 3rd June SCCU 50 Mile
  • Sun 1st July SCA 50 Mile
  • Sun 22nd July SCCU 100 Mile
  • Sat 11th August SERC 10 Mile
  • Sun 2nd September SCCU 25 Mile
Full details can be found here: http://www.sccu.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/SCCU-Event-Programme-2018.pdf


 

FINALLY

Tonight's the night for Belinda's Christmas Party - Friday 21st from 8pm. If you don't know the address email me quick. See you there!